its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
