We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
