Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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