Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
