This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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