Are we in a gay sports bar?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
