Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize