Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
