Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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