but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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