Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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