check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
