Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
