you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm like, not good at living.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize