so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
In America we eat man semen.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
FUCK WHALES
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