everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
