Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
