your room smells of hookers.
And success
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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