I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she peed on how many people?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
