thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
