HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
