Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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