Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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