so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
