I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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