It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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