I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Operation Purity has been aborted
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
