forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
