is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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