is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
