discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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