I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
