yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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