Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
