Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
