Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
