If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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