yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
