I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
