They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
