A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Someone shit on the floor
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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