These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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