Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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