So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
