Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
