Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
