More tranny stories later!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
