i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
