the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
