Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
