he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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