I wanna bring you to show and tell
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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