her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
