he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
