I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
