they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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