so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
