He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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