Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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