we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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