we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
