i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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