I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
