separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
