So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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