you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize