when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
