Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
