You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
