I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
