at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize