I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
