Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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