I wanna bring you to show and tell
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
