what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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