North Korea, Best Korea!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
