I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
