okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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